There is one thing I have come to know in life. No matter how much I have accomplished and how far I have gone, there is always at least one person who has gone even farther and accomplished more. Perhaps it is human nature to compare oneself to others. Even so, I do not believe that this justifies perpetuating this behavior. Similarly, many of us are prone to destructive behaviors like alcoholism and drug addiction, but we ultimately have the choice not to indulge in them.
In my experience, comparing oneself to others only serves to make you feel less proud about yourself, your accomplishments, and your life in general. It can become a way to put yourself down.
Would it be terrible to just be happy for that person who is prettier/smarter/more wealthy/etc.? No, certainly not, but it is definitely not easy.
I suppose this is where jealousy and envy come in. Someone else has something you covet, and this makes you feel lousy and inferior.
Perhaps the root of the problem is an utter lack of genuine love, appreciation for, and confidence in everything in your life. That’s a big problem, but maybe there is something you can do about it.
Here is a short list of intentions to help you stop comparing yourselves to others:
- Instead of being envious, try to admire that other person and to learn from them. They did not get to where they are without at least a little effort. The lessons they have to teach can be invaluable to your own journey and personal goals.
- Take a moment every day to write about what you are thankful for in your life. Integrate this practice as a daily priority right up there with eating food and drinking water. Gratitude makes us truly appreciate the inherent richness within our lives.
- If you cannot help but negatively compare yourself to someone else, then see if you can ignore that particular person and shift your energy and attention to someone you actually admire and whose life truly represents something you aspire to.
- Lastly, see if you can actually meet the person who you are envious of and get to know them a little. You might find that they are human too and face their own challenging struggles. The truth that you discover may be entirely different from the glamorous impression you’ve been harboring in your head.
I have to say that none of this is easy. There is something incredibly difficult about not comparing yourself to others.
I constantly remind myself that life is not a competition and that I have so much in my own life to cherish and celebrate. Therein lies the key to preventing this self-defeating behavior. One must be constantly vigilant to watch out for when it happens and also celebrate everything about yourself and your life that is unique and wonderful.
I am not a psychologist or an expert on human behavior. This topic is something I have struggled with in the past, and I thought it would be worthwhile to share my thoughts on the matter. If you know of good ways to stop comparing yourself to others, let me know in the comments below.
Until my next post, be kind to yourself and celebrate everything in your life that you love and cherish.