Tag Archives: permission

The Boundaries We Keep

October 6, 2019

Culture and Society

I see them everywhere. Sometimes it’s a fence that encloses a pasture with animals who feast on chunks of grass and bask in the sun. Sometimes it’s a door closed shut and locked from the inside. We carry our own boundaries mostly. Some people call it “personal space”–a buffer of air and light through which no one can pass unless permission is granted.

Most boundaries, however, are also invisible.

But why do we keep these boundaries? To keep the true beasts inside of us at bay? Or to hold on to some desperate sense of privacy?

Sure, okay.

There are no wrong answers, I suppose. And it is always valid to ask questions and seek out clues to undress a mystery. Isn’t it?

So, I have to ask, when is it not okay to hold up a boundary?

A life or death situation?
An instant of severe depression or anxiety?
In times of immense grief?

Sure, okay.

So then, boundaries must come down when the physical, psychological, and emotion well being of a person are endangered?

Is that so?


I question this because, ultimately, who are we to make judgements on the boundaries that other people keep? Unless they reach out on their own accord, who are we to say what is better or healthier for them?

This terrain can be an icy cold and slippery slope, and there are often good intentions that motivate the destruction of boundaries that are not our own.

I always try to be mindful of the boundaries that other people keep because they exist for their own valid and authentic reasons.

Personally, many people are often not aware of the boundaries I keep. I have a few them myself, but mostly, they do not know where they cannot cross because my places are distant and sacred.

Before I consider crossing the closed boundary of another, I question why I do so and make every effort to proceed with honesty, respect, and a deep reverence for any decisions that are not mine to make.

Certain boundaries are worth breaking as long as you understand the price of admission.

But mostly, some boundaries are worth keeping, especially if they let you bask in the sun on your own terms, wherever it is you need to be.